Jessica Eaton was a freshman double majoring in Musical Theatre and International Theatre Production. She was Props Master for Two Gentlemen of Verona and a crew member for Holiday Spectacular. I worked with her every day in the scene shop and I understudied her in Taylor 2, which she eventually had to give up because of injury. November 18, 2015, she killed herself. It was a rainy Wednesday morning, just two days before Thanksgiving break. Nobody expected it. We had just seen her the night before. We thought everything was fine.
I could choose to be angry at the university, and I was for a short time. Though we boast a 1:12::Teacher:Student ratio, we have a 1:1500::Counselor:Student ratio. It takes at least two weeks to get in to see a counselor. There have been two suicides in less than two years and nothing on campus has changed.
It has been just over four months and I still think of Jess every day. Sometimes I think I see her walking on campus or I think of a joke she would make during work. I still have her as a friend on Snapchat. I was by no means her best friend; honestly, I did not know much about her. But she was part of the theatre family and someone I loved. Honestly, I have never felt closer to her than I have in these past three weeks. I wish I could find a way to reach out to her and talk to her. I think I know what she was thinking, but that does not matter anyway. I just want to know that she is okay.
D.F. Wallace once compared suicide to jumping out of a burning skyscraper. The people on the ground keep telling you not to worry, help is on the way, but they don't feel the heat of the fire right behind you. In the end, it is not that you wanted to jump; it was the lesser of two fears. No matter how hot your fire burns, please know that you are irreplaceable and leave an impact.
Until next time!
Kathryn
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| April 1997 - November 2015 |
Hi Kathryn,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the loss :( I didn't know her and neither did some of my friends, but it still shocked us and we still think about it. This seems like something the school should address more diligently. Though it's not very good pr, ONU should try to do at least something to prevent such tragedies.
I am so sorry about the lost of a friend. It's painful to lose someone who you know or could've had the potential to know a lot better. ONU and other schools could do a lot better when it comes to situationsee like this so that nothing of this sort will happen in the future.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss. I felt the same way about the school and that's why I targeted them through my internship. PVFF provides free support groups and programs for different areas, one being loss to suicide. They operate in the Hardin and surrounding counties. I was able to give the counseling center information to send students to these free services in the future. Hopefully, outsourcing some of the students to other professionals will help with the large ratio and the outstanding wait time the counseling center has. I learned a lot about the effects suicide has on family and friends. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteI think it's awesome that you worked with PVFF; it sounds like something I might be interested in for the future. Outreach facilities that deal with mental health issues are invaluable, yet often overlooked. It's disappointing and frustrating to me that the university does little to take care of students' mental well-being, so I love that you targeted them. Hopefully they'll start listening to us soon.
DeleteI remember this day very well, as it was on my 21st birthday. While I didn't know Jessica, I still felt a hole in my heart that someone so young is now gone. I didn't know how to act. I wanted to celebrate my birthday, but I also didn't want to feel guilty for being happy on a day that everyone else was grieving.
ReplyDeleteLosing a friend is never easy. I lost my best friend to cancer in February. It takes a long time to heal, if you can ever heal. I'm glad that you keep Jessica in your thoughts.
I agree, the university needs to make serious changes according to the counseling center and other assistance. The help is provided, but when the counselors are free--not when the students really need it. I hope changes are made in the near future. We certainly don't want to lose another Polar Bear.
Sorry for your loss. :(